Secret things

10 Things you didn’t know about Jamie Rix

  1. As a child Jamie was shot in the eye by an air gun pellet.
  2. He runs marathons.
  3. His favourite author is Roald Dahl.
  4. He had a trial for Chelsea FC.
  5. He once broke his leg jumping off a stage to get to the bar.
  6. He loves cooking (and peanut butter and jam sandwiches).*
  7. His boxer dog is called Buster.
  8. As a child he made Airfix models of monsters and painted them with blood.
  9. He started to go bald when he was nineteen.
  10. He is Johnny Casanova!
  11. He hates numbered lists.


MAD MASH  (enough for 4)

8 Sausages
2 lb potatoes
2 Tins of Baked Beans
One knob of butter
Salt and pepper
Milk, single cream or crème fraiche (your choice)
I bottle of green food dye
I bottle of black food dye
Tomato Ketchup
I bottle of blue food dye

Peel the potatoes, cut into small evenly sized pieces and put in salted water. Bring to the boil and simmer for approximately 15 minutes until the potatoes are soft.
While potatoes are boiling turn on the grill to medium. Prick sausages once with fork and place on grill pan. Put sausages under grill. Turn sausages every 2 minutes or so to make sure that they don’t burn. Cook sausages for approximately 10 minutes until they are brown all over.
Open tins of beans and put into Pyrex dish. Heat beans in Microwave for approximately 3 minutes or until bubbling hot! (Alternatively, if you don’t have a Microwave, put beans in non-stick pan and put on gentle heat for approximately 5 minutes)

With a couple of minutes to go before the sausages are ready, take the soft potatoes off the heat and drain off the water by pouring potatoes into a colander. Return potatoes to pan and mash them with a large knob of butter, a large splash of milk, single cream or crème fraiche (depending on how creamy you like it!), and salt and pepper.
Take the beans out of the Microwave and stand on the side
THEN (and this is the fun bit!)
Add green food dye to potatoes and stir in until green all over.
Add black food dye to beans and stir in until black all over

Put sausages, green mash and black beans on plate and serve with a small bowl of brown tomato ketchup which you can easily make by squeezing some tomato ketchup into a small bowl and adding blue food dye!

Your main course has been a triumph, but no dinner party is complete with dessert.

BLOODY BANANA (enough for 4)

4 Bananas
One pot of single cream
I bottle of black food dye
I bottle of red food dye

Put one banana into a bowl and mash it with a fork until it is soft and delicious. Add black food dye. Continue mashing until it is all black.
Open the pot of cream and stir in red food dye until the cream is the colour of blood.
Pour the red cream over the black banana and sprinkle with sugar to taste.

Enjoy! I hope you are sick!